A Wrinkle in "About Time"

POPE BENEDICT XVI BEGINS HIS ENCYCLICAL "DUES CARITAS EST" (GOD IS LOVE)...

by writing about how "[t]oday, the term “love” has become one of the most frequently used and misused of words, a word to which we attach quite different meanings." The word "love" has been thrown around so frivolously today that it's true meaning has become lost to almost everyone. We talk about love of possessions, love of work, love between friends, love between family members, and love of your neighbor as all in the same. When we really think about it though, Benedict says, "Amid this multiplicity of meanings, however, one in particular stands out: love between man and woman, where body and soul are inseparably joined and human beings glimpse an apparently irresistible promise of happiness. This would seem to be the very epitome of love; all other kinds of love immediately seem to fade in comparison." This love above all else is the closest thing we have to mirroring God's love for us after all. A special kind of love where two people leave themselves perfectly vulnerable to each other and from this union the most beautiful thing comes into fruition. Life itself. It is through this love that we create life ourselves, and ohh how beautiful of a moment it is.

Mary & Tim see their daughter Posy for the first time

Like I've said before, I personally love to look at pictures of newly made fathers looking at their newborn children for the first time. You know absolutely nothing about this person! Who they might be, what they are like, or how much of a pain in the ass they are probably bound to be, but even without knowing them at all you love them with all of your heart and would put everything on the line for them. It's poignant really how this love that already trumps all other kinds love could create something that you truly love so much as well. How quickly it all happens too!

Now how exactly can this love be so much better than any of it's other alternatives (except for God's perfect form of love of course)? It is because this "love between man and woman which is neither planned nor willed, somehow imposes itself upon human beings" and gives meaning and purpose into our lives as Pope Benedict said in his Encyclical. We never choose to fall in love after all. It just sort of happens over time without you really noticing. Soon you'll find yourself thinking of that person constantly throughout the day, you'll want to share anything that makes you happy with them, and without you noticing you'll use all of your day learning about their favorite pastime (that you honestly don't even like) so that you can spend more time with them. 

Every person whether they are ready to admit it or not searches for order and purpose in their life. Not order in the sense of always being neat or having a tight schedule, but order in their priorities. We all want to be so honest in our pursuits that when someone asks us what the most important thing in our life is, we can without hesitation look back at them and tell them the truth. Before we can put our priorities in order, however, we must first find out what our vocations are. We must discover what our god given purpose is and then we must work every single day of our lives working towards that goal. A lot of the world, regardless if they enjoy the idea, have a vocation to find this love that I have talked about so far.

Why then isn't it easy to find this love?

I'll answer this with a C.S. Lewis quote I'm quite fond of from "The Four Loves":

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

When we put ourselves out there to find love we must make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt and not just slightly but immensely. To have one's heart broken is one of the most painful things you can possibly experience. To have to "get over" someone might be the hardest thing you will have to do. The only way to stay safe from this pain is to never open up at all. However, when someone tells you it's better to have loved then to never loved at all, you have to see that that is the cold hard truth. When we find someone we can be truly vulnerable around and give ourselves to completely, we will find true happiness. Not just some cheap imitation of it.

Tim finds love-searching to be more difficult than he had originally anticipated

Even if we know what this love is, we still shy away from it because we know what it requires. We become scared of the sacrifice and vulnerability and that's when other pleasures and distractions get in the way, partly to try to replace this love but mostly in a futile attempt to forget about love. In our state of un-orderliness we must be reminded about love again and forget put away the things that have been holding us back from it. Sadly some people don't go back to finding this love. They try to replace this longing for true happiness with something that will never measure up to it, and because of this people begin to worry and to fear whats ahead of them. From this lack of order people often find themselves in a whirlpool of heartache and they begin to stop seeing just how amazing the intricacies of the world can be. Whatever it might be, we become complacent and don't strive for the greatest thing out there. 

When we lose order we lose the ability to see the beauty that lies within everything. Richard Curtis' "About Time" is about just that. Finding our purpose in life through our vocations and how it can reveal the truth around everything around us.

NOW LET'S DELVE DEEPER INTO "ABOUT TIME"...

For starters, I will be posting spoilers about the movie here. That's just a fact of life. I advise you watch the film before you read any further, but for the adventurous and the one's who've actually seen the film carry on.

For those that have never seen the film the premise is pretty simple. Our lead Tim finds out from his father on his 21st birthday that all of the men from his father's side of the family have the ability to travel in time. They can't travel into the future at all or just anywhere in the past, but instead to any moment in their life that has already passed. When his father tells him about this power he also warns him that he should try to use it to pursuit something of worth and not just money or power (as many of his ancestors have lived rather empty lives because of doing just that). Tim then decides rather quickly what his pursuit is going to be. He plans on finding love. Advertised as a "Chick Flick" no one should be surprised that he decided to do so, but the movie will come to surprise many people as it deals with things much deeper than just him finding a girlfriend or wife. It's about him finding happiness.

From this point on I will split the movie into three parts, each part circling around Tim's interactions with one of the other characters. These characters are Mary (Tim's love interest), Kit-Kat (Tim's sister) and James (Tim's father).

Mary - Prima Pars - First Part

Ohh Mary. Before I begin I must say Rachel McAdams (who portrays Mary) is one of the most stunningly beautiful people I have ever seen in my entire life. I giggled uncontrollably during almost all of her scenes. I digress. 

Tim at the beginning of the movie is special because it's pretty obvious that through his parent's amazing parenting he already has most of his life together. His virtues for the most part are right where they should be. I would guess that with time travel, parenting becomes a wee bit easier.

In his search for the love of his life Tim goes off to London to begin work as a lawyer. His romantic pursuits end up being fruitless for a few months, until one night he goes to a "Dans le Noir" establishment (a restaurant where it's completely dark) with his best friend Jay to try and meet some girls. In this completely dark setting he sits in front of and gets to meet his love interest Mary. They hit it off extremely well during the course of the night and eventually see each other off and exchange contact information and plan on seeing each other again sometime soon.

To stop myself from summarizing for too long I'll scrape over a lot of the proceeding minor plot points.

After this initial meeting he finds out he has to undo the night in order to help his friend. He uses something he learned about her that night to meet her again and then is able to find out enough about what she did a few days before their "second" meeting (from Tim's perspective at least) so that he can have a chance meeting with her. Tim then meets her at the party she was at a few days before and is able to take her out for coffee that very night.

Now the very important part about all of this is that Tim does not use time travel to have her fall in love with him in any way whatsoever. He uses it to meet her again only because he was such a good friend, he sacrificed his first meeting with her to help his flatmate. The coffee date they go on was nothing like the time they met at the restaurant and they still fell in love with each other regardless. Although the trailers for the movie alluded to him using time travel for this sole purpose it could not have been any more different.

Tim said good bye to Mary but had to come back for another kiss

Tim & Mary's relationship progresses more and more and after some time Tim proposes to Mary and it seemed as if nothing could possibly get any better in both of their lives. Now this whole half of the movie, I would argue at least, is the least important part of the the entire movie. Of course it's filled will great humor and amazing romantic lines by Tim, but the whole purpose of this entire half is to give contrast to his sister and to show the audience one important thing. After the short talk with his dad, Tim's life at least on screen has been rather happy. Meeting Rory, his relationship with Mary, and his progression through his job had him living a very balanced life and he was always on the top of his game. Why was that?

It wasn't just meeting Mary (although I do think going out with Rachel McAdams would help my happiness levels quite a bit) it was the order that he had in his life that gave him such a good outlook on things all of the time. As soon as he went to London he had his priorities straight and acted upon them. He didn't simply say that the thing he wants most was love, but he actively sought it out and dedicated almost all of his time to Mary as soon as he meet her.

Here's an analogy: A business man is asked what the most important thing in his life is. He exclaims that it's obviously his family because, after all, he works long grinding hours so that he can have his wife and children living comfortably. But does his life really reflect on this? Although he works for his family, he is barely home and his wife and children would much rather live less comfortably if it meant spending more time with him. So although he might say and believe that his main priority is his family, how he acts in a day to day setting doesn't reflect on it whatsoever.

Tim on the other hand had all of his actions reflecting the very priorities that he held closest to him. Not only that but the priorities that he had also happened to be very virtuous and not just hedonistic things. The flip side of this can be seen with his sister Kit-Kat.

Kit-Kat - Secundae Pars - Second Part

The movie alludes very heavily that something was wrong with Kit-Kat even in the very early scenes. No not the fact that she was eccentric or anything (that was perfectly fine she was just different from everyone else), but rather with her interactions with her boyfriend Jimmy and her inability to keep a job. Constantly the film uses some of its "real estate" to highlight scenes of Kit-Kat and quite often some of the actors utter quick lines mentioning job problems and relationship problems that shes been having.

Tim & Kit-Kat have a much needed heart to heart

Once it's formally revealed that she was in an abusive relationship, was struggling through alcoholism and wasn't able to keep a job it becomes pretty obvious what was going on with her life. Although she was always filled with glee all of the time, especially around Mary, many of the quick derogatory lines about her hint that she just never really had much order in her life to begin with. Not talking about her free-spirit like attitude but rather talking about the care she puts into things. From counting on the hints that we get from the film she was fired from at least 3 jobs, broke up and got back together with a very uninterested Jimmy at least 4 times, and spent much of her day drinking (even early in the morning). She would quickly retreat back to her parents house every single time something went awry and would never seek help other than just a place to stay for the time. It also becomes very obvious that her disposition towards keeping a job was also awful and every single time she was fired she really did not care as much as she should have. However, as Saint Augustine said in Of True Religion, even to know one doubts or is at fault is the very beginning of the truth.

It becomes apparent that deep down she really did not want that kind of lifestyle because the amount of pushing she needed to fix everything, was honestly quite small. After talking to Tim and Mary for a while she takes some strides and uses the two of them as a way to hold herself accountable for her new goals. She breaks up with Jimmy, goes out with the caring Jay, gets and keeps a job, becomes sober and in the end she's right back to being as cheery as she always was. She began to see the world again just like her father taught her when she was a kid. Speaking about Tim's and Kit-Kat's father...

James - Tertia Pars - Third Part

The later part of the film, and quite obviously the most important part of the film, features Tim's relationship with his dying father. This part alone sets it apart from other "Chick Flicks" and by itself turns an already enjoyable film into a film I happily share with other people. I appreciate the trailers making it seem like the movie revolved just around his relationship with Mary (as if did make me watch it because of, again, my love for Rachel McAdams), but it's really a father-son film when all is said and done. 

James reveals to Tim the last family secret

The third part of the film begins with James alerting Tim that he has actually held on to a more important family secret that entire time. It might sound absolutely ludicrous to even consider a bigger secret than time travel so Tim is obviously alarmed and confused for a second. This secret, was James' secret formula for happiness. His two step formula goes as follows:

1. Go on with ordinary life, living it day by day just like anybody else.

2. Live everyday again almost exactly the same. The first time with all the tensions and worries that stop us from seeing how sweet the world can be, and the second time... noticing.

The movie, as the secret is being narrated by Tim, then goes on to show Tim living a normal stressful day at work and then again with a much better frame of mind as he already knows what's going to happen. During this exercise the movie does a wonderful job of capturing exactly what he sees differently when he no longer has to be bogged down by his worries and fears. He begins to notice even the small things around him and then begins to truly appreciate them more. Rory's spirits are lifted with Tim being more kind-hearted, he notices the cashier at the deli he orders from, he takes in the beauty of the court room, and the annoying man playing music loudly on the train is no longer annoying to him but he finds some joy from it. He appreciates the little things so much more and because of it Tim and everyone around him are much happier because of it.

However, how is this related to us whatsoever? We can't time travel after all!

Well that's just the thing! Tim alters his dad's secret and perfect it in a way to make himself even happier. A way that even you and I could take part of. So after the events at the end of the film, which aren't really necessary for me to include so for the sake of readers that haven't watched it I'll leave it out, Tim realizes that he doesn't have to repeat every single day again, or even travel back in time at all. Instead he lives every single day as if he deliberately came back just for that day. Just like if that day was worth living over and over again regardless of the hardships that lied ahead. It's a message that we see constantly through out dozens of films and books, but what makes it so much more powerful here?

Tim sees his daughter Posy off as she heads into school

It's because of the emphasis on the message. A man with the ability to travel in time found true happiness not by masking over his mistakes and attaining all of the riches he could possibly dream of, but instead by making mistakes, by taking it day by day, by enjoying the little details that make up our lives. Through love and order Tim found himself living life as happily as any man possibly could. Though he might not have been famous nor did he lounge around all day because he no longer had to work (he did still spend a lot of time doing lawyer work), but he had found purpose. And old proverb goes as so, "if you want to feel rich just count all the things you have that movie cannot buy." Although he might not have had all of the little things a man could ask for he had much more.

Although it might not have easy he found meaning in his life,and was happier for the trouble.

I WOULD LIKE TO END THIS WITH A SHORT MEDITATION

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.” - Kurt Voggenut

How often do we lose ourselves in our everyday lives and forget to realize just how much beauty everything around us has? I urge you to at this very moment to stop and meditate on everything you've done this week and everyone that you've talked to. No not just superficially but a bit deeper than that. When was the last time you called your father in the middle of the day to ask how his day was going? When was the last time that you realized just how lucky you are to have the friends that you have now? 

Stop and look around and see how unique and charming everyone around you is and just how much they care for you, regardless of whether or not you've taken notice. True beauty lies in all of God's creation, once we've truly come to understand and see the truths everything has. Just stop and stare around you and realize that you and everything around you exists. How amazing is that? Like really. Everything and everyone around you too has a purpose. Everyone is capable of love and sanctity if they gave it the old college try.

So when life is beginning to crumble down on you, don't run from who you are. Don't doubt your value. Through God's love you can be truly happy. Everything around you is worth living for just whether you've noticed that or not. Believe me.

So now call your dad, tell your friends how much they mean to you and approach every day with a childlike attitude. Look for the beauty in things no matter how dark the road might seem. Tolkien after all did say, "Faithless [are those] who [say] farewell when the road darkens." Have some faith. Every day IS worth going back in time to live again. Life could be so sweet if you just learned to love a little bit more.

As a quick exercise this week, think of some people you truly care about and tell them how you feel about them. Tell them how much they mean to you. It's small steps after all that lead us to accomplishing great things. Holiness is not doing extraordinary things, but constantly doing things for God, as Saint Josemaria Escrivá once said. Now to formally end this post I'll leave you with a quote by C.S. Lewis.

“Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different...”

Take small steps to bring order and happiness into your life. Even though it might seem repetitive and useless I feel you'll grow a lot more from it than you think. I thank you for reading this and I wish you good luck. Life is good, so let's take it one step at a time. 

Until next time.